I work for the man.

Evidently, I am having, what my doctor is referring to as, an "extreme pregnancy." For those of you who may not be acquainted with the "extreme" this basically means I vomit frequently and have to go to the Emergency Room now and then to replenish my fluids. They've got me on some seriously powerful drugs and if I'm not mistaken it even says in tiny print on the bottle, " Take every six hours as needed for Chemotherapy, Radiation, or Extreme Pregnancies."

Unfortunately this miracle drug (Zofran) is outrageously expensive and my insurance company only allots me 12 pills for every 23 days. Only this month there was some sort of mix up and I got 8 pills for the 23 days. (yes I have been making inquiries and attempting to rectify the situation) But the shortage of pills means that I can take one pill every three days. Day one, I feel marvelous, I can cook, I can clean, I can entertain company, put on roadshows, you name it. Day two- I can shower, dress myself, drive semi-responsibly, smile occasionally and brush my teeth. By the time day three hits, I'm a big scary mess and my mommy has to come over and take care of me.

Anyway, my coworkers are becoming well versed in my medication dosage and have learned when not to stand near the lavatory. ( I think throwing up in public is one of the most humiliating things a grown person can go through ) They are not terribly sympathetic and have started shouting things like, "you should just keep a bucket at your desk, that way you won't have to leave your station all the time." So my boss came in this morning (day two) and asked how I was doing. I told him I was a little shaky but was doing ok for the most part. He shook his head as he started to walk away, then stopped and came back to my desk to impart a little of his hard earned wisdom.

"You know it's all just in your head, don't you?"
"Excuse me?"
"It's just in your head. Oh, I'm sick, I have to throw up, I can't work. It's in your head."
"Trade places with me Joe, and let's just see how much control you'd have over your gag reflex."
"Yeah, yeah, you just think you're supposed to be sick, so you think you are and your body reacts. That's all."

He walked away up to his office and I sat there marinating in his comment for a few minutes. What's wrong with people? Yeah, my brain prefers this throw up coupled with pumped in saline solution to a happy life of food digestion. I stopped by his office a little while later and smiling said, "Hey Joe, just a head's up, telling a sick pregnant woman that it's all in her head creates hostility, bitterness and eventually violence, oh and your shipment of carpet samples isn't coming in today. Buh bye." Somebody should punch him in the throat. That's what I have to say.

I have arrived

Once upon a time there was little girl named Mayhem. Mayhem lived a life of happy turmoil until she was swallowed up by a giant sea slug never to be heard from again. Tragic Really- but she's gone now and I am here to take her place.

I am newly married, newly pregnant and have lately made a lot silly observations that I can't help but share. Please feel free to comment as you will. I look forward to hearing from you.